You're A King You Say?

[nsxt2000]

I have a king sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable. "Oh, you're a king you say? Well you won't believe what I have in store for you. I think I can fix up your old lady too."

From the mind of the late Mitch Hedberg...a strange and interesting fellow...
-Mike S.

[nsxt2000]

I saw a billboard for the lottery. It said "Estimated lottery jackpot 55 million dollars". I did not know that it was estimated. That would suck if you won and they said, "Oh, we were off by two zeroes. We estimate that you are angry".

The late Mitch Hedberg was weird, even by my standards...but I like his humor.
-Mike S.

[nsxt2000]

A. They say that Mr. Pibb is a replica of Dr. Pepper, but that's BS. The dude didn't even get his degree. Why did you have to drop out and start making pop so soon?

B. They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.

Mitch Hedberg was strange indeed.
-Mike S.

[nsxt2000]

"I wish I could play litle league now. I'd be way better than before."

"My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set."

"Why are there no "during" pictures?"

"I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's...coming."

Courtesy of the late Mr. Mitch Hedberg.
-Mike S.

[Randy]

Ok so I had never heard of this guy until reading this thread.

I had to google him to see what his story was.I found numerous vidoes on YouTube with Mitch doing stand up comedy.

Oh man this is one funny guy.If any one wants a good laugh you really have to check him out.:)

[nsxt2000]

Mitch really was a very funny and insightful comedian. He was relatively new on the scene and just coming off an HBO special. Mitch was due to perform in Atlanta and we were looking forward to seeing him when he unfortunately over dosed on drugs.

A young guy with his life taking off and then wasted. On a positive note, Mitch did leave many funny thoughts. I will be posting more...and here are a couple -

"I saw a wineo eating grapes. I said dude you have to wait!"

"I'm a hard act to follow, because when I'm done, I take the microphone with me."

"I was walking down the street with a friend, and he said, "I hear music." As if there was any other way you can take it in. That's how I recevie it too. You're not special."

A little deep for some people, but my daughter and I liked him.
-Mike S.

[nsxt2000]

More from the late Mitch Hedberg -

"If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly."

"Sometimes I get really lonely. Especially when I'm throwing a Frisbee."

"I went to a tent store. "What kind of tend do you need?" "Circus.".

"When I was on acid, I would see things like beams of light. And I would hear things that sounded an awful lot like car horns."

"I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" I answered, "It's a Boys."

Yea, this guy was stranger than me...
-Mike S.

[Randy]

Hahahaha Funny!!!!:)

[nsxt2000]

* I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round and gave her a burrito.

* I wish they made fajita colgne, because that stufff smells good. What's that you're wearing? Fajita. That's sizzlin'!

* A fly was very close to being called a "land", because that's what it does half the time.

* I did a radio interview; the DJ's first question was "Who are you?" I had to think. Is this guy really deep, or did I drive to the wrong station?

* Dog's are forever in the push-up position.

* I bought myself a parrot, but it did not say "I'm hungry", and so it died.

* I'm a hard act to follow, because when I'm done, I take the microphone with me.

Thanks Mitch for the laffs!
-Mike S.

[Randy]

A fly was very close to being called a "land", because that's what it does half the time.


Hahahah thats some funny stuff!!!:)

[nsxt2000]

This afternoon I was listening to a Mitch Hedberg CD and thought I would pull up this thread for a bit of humor. He was a funny guy. Too bad he did drugs...

-Mike S.